And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow
on us
from our wives and our offspring
who will be the comfort of our eyes,
and make us leaders for the Muttaqûn" |
|
Those will be rewarded with the highest
place
(in Paradise) because of their patience.
Therein they shall be met with greetings
and the word of peace and respect. |
(Qur'an 25:74-75) |
The
order to Marry
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book
62, No. 1, Narrated Anas bin Malik
A group of three men came to the houses of the
wives of the Prophet
asking how the Prophet worshipped (Allah), and when they were
informed about that, they considered their worship insufficient and said,
"Where are we from the Prophet as his past and future sins have been forgiven."
Then one of them said, "I will offer the prayer throughout the night forever."
The other said, "I will fast throughout the year and will not break my fast."
The third said, "I will keep away from the women and will not marry forever."
Allah's Apostle came to them and said, "Are you the same people who said
so-and-so? By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and more afraid of Him
than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women.
So he who does not follow my tradition in religion, is not from me (not one
of my followers)."
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book
62, Number 4, Narrated 'Abdullah
We were with the Prophet while we were young
and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle said, "O young people! Whoever
among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and
guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual
intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting
diminishes his sexual power."
Saying of Salaf - Sufyan ibn 'Uyaynah
Sufyân ibn ‘Uyaynah (rahimahullâh)
said, "The most nimble of creatures still have need of a voice. The cleverest
women still need to have a husband, and the cleverest man still needs to
consult wise men."
Al-Mahr
(The Dowry)
The Noble Qur'an 4:4
And give to the women (whom you marry) their
Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time
of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure,
remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm
(as Allâh has made it lawful).
Stipulations
in Marriage Contract
Hadith - Abu Dawud and AI-Hakim on the
authority of Abi hurairah, Sahih Al- Jami AI-Sayhir, (No.
6714)
Regarding contracts the Prophet (Peace be upon
him) said: The
rights are decided by the conditions.
Hadith - Malik's Muwatta Book 28, Number
28.6.16
Yahya related to me from Malik that he had heard
that Said ibn al-Musayyab was asked about a woman who made a stipulation
on her husband not to take her away from her town. Said ibn al-Musayyab said,
"He takes her away if he wishes."
Malik said, "The custom among us is that when
a man marries a woman, and he makes a condition in the marriage contract
that he will not marry after her or take a concubine, it means nothing unless
there is an oath of divorce or setting-free attached to it. Then it is obliged
and required of him."
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on
him) said in his book Al-Mughni:
“If he married her on the condition that
he should not make her move from her house or her city, then this condition
is valid, because it was reported that the Prophet
said: ‘The most deserving of conditions
to be fulfilled are those by means of which sexual intercourse becomes
permissible for you.’ If he married her on the condition that
he will not marry another wife, then she has the right to leave him if he
does take another wife.” In conclusion, then, the conditions of the
marriage contract are divided into three types, one of which must be adhered
to, which is of benefit to the wife, such as her being able to stipulate
that he cannot make her move from her house or city, or travel with him,
or take another wife or a concubine. He has to adhere to these conditions,
and if he does not, then she has the right to annul the marriage.”
[Al-Mughni by Ibn Qudaamah, part 7, Kitaab
al-Nikaah]
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah
have mercy on him) was asked this question and he replied in Al-Fataawa
al-Kubra:
“Question: a man married a woman and she
stipulated that he should not take another wife or make her move from her
house, and that she could stay with her mother, so he married her on this
basis. Does he have to adhere to this, and if he goes against these conditions,
does his wife have the right to annul the marriage or not?
Answer: yes, these conditions and similar ones
are valid according to the madhhab of Imaam Ahmad and other scholars among
the Sahaabah and Taabi’een, such as ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, ‘Amr
ibn al-‘Aas, Shurayh al-Qaadi, al-Oozaa’i and Ishaaq. According
to the madhhab of Maalik, the condition states that if he marries another
wife, (the first wife) has the choice of what to do, and this is a valid
condition. The woman has the right to leave him in this case. This is similar
to the idea in the Madhhab of Imaam Ahmad. The basis for this is the hadeeth
narrated by (al-Bukhaari and Muslim) in al-Saheehayn from the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him): ‘The most deserving of conditions
to be fulfilled are those by means of which sexual intercourse becomes
permissible for you.’ ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab
said: ‘Rights are in accordance with
conditions.’ The Prophet
dictated that the conditions which make sexual intercourse
permissible are more deserving of fulfilment than others. This is the ruling
on conditions of this nature.” [al-Fataawa
al-Kubra, part 3, Kitaab al-Nikaah].
The noted scholar Ibn 'Uthaimeen has stated:
It is the right of the woman to make stipulations
at the writing of the marriage contract as she wishes and if these stipulations
do not contradict Islamic law then the husband must fulfill them. For example,
that he not marry a second wife and that if he does to dissolve the first
marriage. This is not a problem. However, a new prospective wife cannot stipulate
that the first wife be divorced before he marries her. I must say however
that a first wife should not make such a stipulation that her husband not
marry a second wife. I fear that if a woman makes this stipulation that the
husband will, if he desires to marry a second woman, simply divorce the first
one straight away [i.e. not even give her consideration] and it would no
be to her benefit. Therefore I advise the woman not to make such a stipulation
because this may be a manner by which the husband is able to follow a good
sunnah.
The
Limit of What can be seen of the Woman Whom One Seeks to Marry
Sheikh Ibn Baz, May Allah have Mercy on
him
Question: If a young man proposes marriage to a young lady
is it obligatory that he sees her? Also, is it correct that the young lady
uncover her head to show more of her beauty to her proposing fiance? Please
benefit us and may Allaah benefit you.
Answer: There is no harm (in the man seeing her), however it
is not obligatory. Rather, it is recommended that he sees her and she sees
him, because the Prophet (Sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) commanded the one
who proposed marriage to look at the woman. This is because that is better
for causing agreement and harmony between them. So if she uncovers her face
for him, and her hands and her head, there is no harm in that according to
the correct opinion. Some of the people of knowledge have said that it is
sufficient for her to uncover the face and the two hands. However, the correct
opinion is that there is no harm in him seeing her head, face, hands and
feet, based upon the mentioned hadeeth (above). However, this is not
permissible with him being alone with her. Rather, her father, or brother,
or someone else must be with them. This is because the Prophet (Sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam) said, "A man must never be alone
with a woman unless there is someone who is a Mahram with them." (Agreed
upon in Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree and Saheeh Muslim.) He (Sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam) also said, "A man must never be alone with
a woman, for verily the Satan is their third." (At-Tirmithee and Ahmad)
Source: Sheikh ibn Baz, Al-Fataawaa ash-Shar'iyyah
fil-Masaa'il il-'Asriyyah min Fataawaa 'Ulamaa' il-Balad il-Haraam, pp. 498-499.
Translated by Aqeel Walker
Rights
over one another
Hadith - Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 50, Number
882. Narrated Uqba bin Amir
Allah's Apostle
said,
"From among all
the conditions which you have to fulfill, the conditions which make it legal
for you to have sexual relations (i.e. the marriage contract) have the greatest
right to be fulfilled."
The following examples of behavior
of a husband are haram (prohibited) and can lead to disobedience (to Allah)
in the wife.
Al-Bahuti al-Hanbali, Kishaaf al-Qinaa’
an Matn al-Iqnaa’, vol. 5, pp. 184, 290, 213; Ibn Abideen, Radd al-Mukhtar
ala al-Darr al-Mukhtar wa Hashiyah, vol. 3, p. 190; Tafseer al-Manaar, vol.
5, p. 76.
"He [the husband] may cause his wife different
forms of harm, such as cursing her or her family, reviling her, verbally
abusing her for the tiniest of reasons. He may insult her because of her
family, if it is less prestigious or honorable than his. Or he may try to
bring harm to her by divorcing her and then, before the waiting period is
finished, bring her back as his wife and then divorce her again. All this
is done without the intention of returning to a real married life but simply
to harm her and transgress her rights. Or he may avoid having sexual intercourse
with her for no reason or legal sanction. This may lead the woman to lose
her chastity and doing something forbidden."
The Noble Qur'an Al-Baqarah
2:228
...And they (women) have rights (over their
husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands)
over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable,
but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allâh is
All-Mighty, All-Wise.
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi, Narrated Amr ibn
al-Ahwas al-Jushami
The Prophet
said,
"...Listen! You
have your rights upon your wives and they have their rights upon you. Your
right is that they shall not allow anyone you dislike, to trample your bed
and do not permit those whom you dislike to enter your home. Their right
is that you should treat them well in the matter of food and
clothing."
Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari 3.189, Narrated
Abu Juhaifa
Salman told Abu Ad-Darda', "Your Lord has a
right on you, your soul has a right on you, and your family has a right on
you; so you should give the rights of all those who has a right on you."
Abu Ad-Darda' came to the Prophet and narrated the whole story. The Prophet
said,
"Salman has spoken
the truth."
Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari 3.501, Narrated
Abu Huraira
...The Prophet
said,
"The best amongst
you is the one who pays the rights of others generously."
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #276, Narrated Amr
ibn al-Ahwas al-Jushami
Amr heard the Prophet
say in his farewell address on the eve of his Last Pilgrimage,
after he had glorified and praised Allah, he cautioned his followers:
'Listen! Treat women kindly; they are like prisoners
in your hands. Beyond this you do not owe anything from them. Should they
be guilty of flagrant misbehaviour, you may remove them from your beds, and
beat them but do not inflict upon them any severe punishment. Then if they
obey you, do not have recourse to anything else against them. Listen! You
have your rights upon your wives and they have their rights upon you. Your
right is that they shall not allow anyone you dislike, to trample your bed
and do not permit those whom you dislike to enter your home. Their right
is that you should treat them well in the matter of food and clothing.'
[Transmitted
by Tirmidhi]
The Noble Qur'an 5:1
O you who believe! Fulfill (your) obligations.
...
Some
Marriage Conditions That Must Not Exist
The Noble Qur'an 24:3
The adulterer marries not but an adulteress
or a Mushrikah and the adulteress none marries her except an adulterer or
a Muskrik [and that means that the man who agrees to marry (have a sexual
relation with) a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan or idolatress) or a
prostitute, then surely he is either an adulterer, or a Mushrik (polytheist,
pagan or idolater, etc.) And the woman who agrees to marry (have a sexual
relation with) a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater) or an adulterer,
then she is either a prostitute or a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan,
or idolatress, etc.)]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers (of
Islâmic Monotheism).
The Noble Qur'an 5:5
(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women
from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture
(Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due Mahr
(bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage),
desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal
sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girl-friends.
The Noble Qur'an Al-Mumtahinah
60:10
O you who believe! When believing women come
to you as emigrants, examine them, Allâh knows best as to their Faith,
then if you ascertain that they are true believers, send them not back to
the disbelievers, they are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are
the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them. But give the disbelievers that
(amount of money) which they have spent [as their Mahr] to them. And there
will be no sin on you to marry them if you have paid their Mahr to them.
Likewise hold not the disbelieving women as wives, and ask for (the return
of) that which you have spent (as Mahr) and let them (the disbelievers, etc.)
ask back for that which they have spent. That is the Judgement of Allâh.
He judges between you. And Allâh is All-Knowing, All-Wise.
Hadith - Malik's Muwatta Book 28, Number
28.8.21
Yahya related to me from Malik from Yahya ibn
Said that Said ibn al-Musayyab said, "It is forbidden to be married to a
woman and her paternal or maternal aunt at the same time, and for a man to
have intercourse with a female slave who is carrying another man's
child."
Hadith - Muwatta 28.54
Yahya related to me from Malik from Rabia ibn
Abi Abd ar-Rahman that al-Qasim ibn Muhammad and Urwa ibn az-Zubayr said
that a man who had four wives and then divorced one of them irrevocably,
could marry straightaway if he wished, and he did not have to wait for the
completion of her idda.
Hadith - Malik's Muwatta Book 28, Number
28.11.26:
Yahya related to me from Malik from Abu'z-Zubayr
al-Makki that a case was brought to Umar about a marriage which had only
been witnessed by one man and one woman . He said, "This is a secret marriage
and I do not permit it. Had I been the first to come upon it, I would have
ordered them to be stoned."
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Volume 3, Book
48, Number 813, Narrated Ibn 'Abbas
The Prophet
said about Hamza's
daughter, "I am
not legally permitted to marry her, as [Islamic] foster relations are treated
like blood relations (in marital affairs). She is the daughter of my foster
brother."
Temporary
Marriage
Hadith - Malik's Muwatta Book 28, Number
28.18.41:
Yahya related to me from Malik from Ibn Shihab
from Abdullah and Hasan, the sons of Muhammad ibn Ali ibn Abi Talib from
their father, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Messenger of Allah
forbade temporary marriage with women and the flesh of domestic
donkeys on the Day of Khaybar.
Hadith - Malik's Muwatta Book 28, Number
28.18.42
Yahya related to me from Malik from Ibn Shihab
from Urwa ibn az-Zubayr that Khawla ibn Hakim came to Umar ibn al-Khattab
and said, ''Rabia ibn Umayya made a temporary marriage with a woman and she
is pregnant by him.'' Umar ibn al-Khattab went out in dismay dragging his
cloak, saying, "This temporary marriage, had I come across it, I would have
ordered stoning and done away with it! "
How
to Approach a Woman for Marriage
Hadith - Muwatta 28.1
Yahya related to me from Malik from Muhammad ibn Yahya
ibn Habban from al-Araj from Abu Hurayra
that the Messenger of Allah
said, "Do not ask for a woman
in marriage when another Muslim has already done so."
Words
from Sheikh al Albaani
may Allah have mercy on
him
Words of Advice to the Husband and the Wife
by: Sheikh al Albaani
The husband and wife need to be compliant,
cooperative and conciliatory toward one another, and to advise each other
and urge each other toward obedience to Allah subhana wa ta'ala, following
all of His ruling which have been clearly established in the Qur'an and the
Sunnah. These must never be superceded by blind following of any religious
or other figures, or any custom or school of thought which has predominated
among the people. Allah aza wa jal says "It is not for a believer, man or
woman, when Allâh and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they
should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allâh
and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error.
" [al ahzab:33-36]
Each of them should fully carry out the duties
and responsibilities with which Allah has obligated them toward the other...thus,
the wife should not try to have all of the same rights as her husband, and
the husband must never exploit the role of leadership and authority to which
he has been assigned in the marriage relationship to oppress her, strike
her or to be otherwise unfair to her.
Allah said: "And women shall have rights similar
to the rights against them, according to what is equitable; but men have
a degree of advantage over them. And Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise. [al
baqarah:228]
Allah also said "Men are the protectors and
maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the
other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore
the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands),
and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard
(e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). As to those women
on whose part you see illconduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse
to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but
if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance).
Surely, Allâh is Ever Most High, Most Great.
" [an-nisaa:34]
Mu'awiya ibn Haida radi Allahu anhu said "O
rasulullah, what rights do our wives have over us?" Rasulullah salallahu
alayhi wa sallam said "That you should feed them as you feed yourselves,
clothe them as you clothe yourselves, never invoke ugliness upon them, (referring
to the custom of the Arabs when they are angry they say 'May Allah make your
face ugly) never strike them in the face, and in boycotting the marital bed,
do not go outside of the house to sleep. How (could you do any of these things)
after you have entered into one another, so do only that which is allowed
with regard to her (for valid reasons). [ahmed/sahih]
In another hadith rasulullah sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam said "The doers of justice will be on thrones of light at Allah's
right Hand and both of Allah's hands are right hands- whose who were just
in their ruling, with their families and in all that over which there were
given authority." [Muslim]
When they both know and practice this, Allah
subhana wa ta'ala grants them a good life and they will live for as long
as they remain together- in the bliss of happiness. Allah said "Whoever works
righteousness, man or woman, and has Faith, verily, to him will We give a
new Life, a life that is good and pure, and We will bestow on such their
reward according to the best of their actions." [an nahl:97]
A
Pious Poor Pious Man is a Better Marriage Suitor than a Rich Man Who
is Not Pious
Hadith - Bukhari 7.28, Narrated
Sahl
A man passed by Allah's Apostle and Allah's
Apostle asked (his companions) "What do you say about this (man)?" They replied,
"If he asks for a lady's hand, he ought to be given her in marriage; and
if he intercedes (for someone) his intercessor should be accepted; and if
he speaks, he should be listened to." Allah's Apostle kept silent, and then
a man from among the poor Muslims passed by, an Allah's Apostle asked (them)
"What do you say about this man?" They replied, "If he asks for a lady's
hand in marriage he does not deserve to be married, and he intercedes (for
someone), his intercession should not be accepted; And if he speaks, he should
not be listened to." Allah's Apostle (saaws) said,
"This poor man
is better than so many of the first as filling the
earth."
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #3090, Narrated Abu
Hurairah, r.a.
Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said,
'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your
daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will
be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption.'
[Tirmidhi,
Nasa'i and Ibn Majah transmitted it.]
Related Links:
Wives
Wali
Action Items for
the
uttaqun:
-
Single muslims should
have intentions to marry as soon as Islamically permissible and a suitable
candidate for marriage is available.
-
For a female,
it is permissible to marry at any time near puberty.
-
For a man,
he is ordered to marry after puberty once he has established a means to support
a family.
-
It is recommended
(in order to avoid being jailed) to not marry until old enough according
to the laws in the land they live, but it is Islamically permissible before
that. In the U.S., the typical legally permissible age is 14 or 15 with a
parent's permission, but it will vary depending on where you live, so check
with the local authorities first.
-
Neither should
refuse marriage to a suitable muslim marriage candidate.
-
A woman is
permitted (if she so chooses) to marry a poor man of good character, but
she must not marry a non-Muslim.
-
A muslim man
may only marry a muslim or non-polytheist christian or jew who is
chaste.
-
A mahr/dowry (gift
from the man to the new wife) should be agreed upon before the actual marriage.
-
The dowry can
be anything halal that they agree upon and it is obligatory that she is given
a dowry. It is recommended that the dowry is something appropriate to his
income level and ability to give.
-
Although jewelry
is permissible to be given as the dowr or part of the dowr, it should not
be an imitation of christian traditions, such as a diamond ring worn on the
left third finger and given as part of the marriage
ceremony.
-
A couple may stipulate
in the marriage contract that he will not take on an additional wife, only
under the agreement that if he does this, they will get divorced.
-
As a muslimah,
this is not necessarily to your benefit to make such a stipulation. For
instance, you could become paralyzed from the waist down, and if your husband
were to want a second wife, he would have to divorce you, but Allah
swt in His Infinite Wisdom, has made provisions that would allow you to remain
secure and his wants still be fulfilled. Not that he must find
another wife under such a circumstance, but it is his right, and you may
love him so much that you want him to take on another wife, but at
the same time you very likely may not want a divorce. This is only
one such example. Recognize that you cannot fortell the future and trust
Allah's provisions for up to four wives as a blessing for you and not a bad
thing. No-one is saying that the man should have up to four wives,
but that under certain conditions, there is a great wisdom and benefit in
this arrangement. Allahu Alam.
-
What is agreed
upon in the marriage contract, on any halal matter, stands - unless the two
come to a mutual agreement to change this stipulation, so long as there is
nothing haram they agree to do, etc. So, she can waive that right - upon
mutual agreement only - keeping in mind that the original marriage contract
takes precedence over arguements or disputes later in the marriage.
-
A man who has four
wives cannot divorce one wife and marry another woman while the divorced
wife is still in her iddah (waiting period) , UNLESS the divorce was
irrevocable, i.e. it was her third divorce.
-
A marriage should
be witnessed by at least two men, or four women, or one man and two
women.
-
Give your spouse his/her
rights. If your rights are not being given to you, ASK ALLAH for these
rights.
-
The Prophet (sallallahu aleihi wa sallam) said, "Soon others will be preferred
to you, and there will be things which you will not like." The companions
of the Prophet asked, "O Allah's Apostle! What do you order us to do (in
this case)?" He said, "(I order you) to give the rights that are on you
and to ask your rights from Allah." [Sahih
Al-Bukhari 4.800, Narrated Ibn Masud]
-
The rights of a husband
include:
-
Halal marital relations
to the degree that they are able
-
That the wife will
guard in the husband's absence what Allah has ordered her to guard (i.e.
her chastity, his property, secrets in the bed between the
two)
-
That she would not
fast while in his presence, without his permission.
-
If it is an
obligatory fast, he still has rights to deny it if he has a valid reason,
such as believing that the fast would be a severe risk to her health, and
he must allow the obligatory fast of Ramadan if there is no valid reason
to forbid it.
-
As to when
she is to make up the Ramadan fast days that she did not make due to her
menstrual, he must cooperate with her desires to make it up promptly, but
he still can deny that the fast be done at certain times as he decides what
he believes is best for her and for the marriage overall.
-
For non-obligated
fasts, he should encourage the piety of fasting in general, but he is
not obligated to permit each request to fast if they will be in each
other's presence during the fast.
-
To move the wife,
have her travel with him, or to have up to four wives unless previously
stipulated before marriage
-
That she will not
spend his money against his halal orders
-
That she will not
permit anyone to enter his house except with his
permission
-
If seeing ill behavior
from the wife, he has the right to first admonish her, then after
that he may refuse to share the bed, then he may beat her lightly
(in a way that does not leave marks or damage the body, as this is for a
reminder to the call of Islam, not a punishment to inflict any physical
harm). If at any time, she returns to obedience to Allah, swt, he should
stop any means of annoyance upon her.
-
The rights of a wife
include:
-
To have a muslim husband
whose general aqeedah (beliefs/creed) and minhaj (methodology) is Qur'an
and Sunnah
-
Halal marital relations
to the degree that they are able
-
To refuse to move,
travel, or be a co-wife if previously stipulated before
marriage
-
To be clothed and
fed as well as the husband, from his means.
-
Also that her
dependent children are so clothed and fed by her new husband where the provisions
of the biological father fall short (such as a deceased or deadbeat biological
father), unless stipulated otherwise prior to marriage. But then of course
they would have to stipulate how they intend to provide for the kids and
what they will do if the situation changes (such as the biological father
dies). The biological father is obligated first and foremost to provide
for them within his means, but the new husband is also responsible for the
protection and maintenance of those within his
care.
-
The husband
is responsible for maintaining the wife. If the wife has children from a
previous marriage, providing for her children is a need she has. The new
husband's job includes maintaining this aspect of the wife's
needs.
-
Men are the protectors and maintainers
of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and
because they spend (to support them) from their means. ... (Qur'an
4:34)
-
The best of what you consume is that
which you have earned. And your children are part of what you have earned.
[al-Tirmidhi
and al-Nasai. Al-Albani has graded it sahih. Al-Albani, Sahih al-Jami,
vol. 1, p. 326.]
-
The new husband
is not responsible for the latest nintendo game or everything any child feels
he wants. But just like everything under his roof, there comes a sense of
responsibility with seeing that it is adequately cared for. If he buys an
item as small as a pencil, he is not allowed to abuse it or be negligent
and destructive; instead, he must be responsible with everything Allah swt
has put in his care. He should not pay the price of a house for a toy, buy
a piece of furniture and then let children vandalize it, or allow haram things
in the house. Why? Because it is his responsibility to (properly) maintain
everything he has, including his body, because it is a sin not to take care
of it. When we see that he is responsible for taking care of the physical
things like furniture and maintenance of the actual house, we must stop to
realize that the rights of a child are much greater than this man's right
to a new carpet! The husband is responsible for seeing that everything under
his roof is adequately cared for and properly prioritized.
-
And give to the kindred his due and to
the Miskîn (poor) and to the wayfarer. But spend not wastefully (your
wealth) in the manner of a spendthrift .
[Qur'an
17:26]
-
...That you should feed them as you feed
yourselves, clothe them as you clothe yourselves
[Ahmed/sahih]
-
And the man is responsible for his household
and will be asked about his responsibility
[Bukhari]
-
Hind (bint 'Utba) said to the Prophet,
"Abu Sufyan is a miserly man and I need to take some money of his wealth."
The Prophet (saaws) said, "Take reasonably what is sufficient for you and
your children." [Bukhari 9.291, Narrated
'Aisha]
-
The Prophet (saaws) said, "You will
not find me to be miserly, cowardly, or a liar."
[Muwatta
21.22]
-
Allah's Messenger (saaws) said, "The
generous man is near Allah, near Paradise, near men and far from Hell, but
the miserly man is far from Allah, far from Paradise, far from men and near
Hell. Indeed, an ignorant man who is generous is dearer to Allah than a
worshipper who is miserly."
[Tirmidhi
1869, Narrated Abu Huraira]
-
That when the husband
boycotts the marital bed, he does not leave the house to do
so
-
Equal time with her
husband if she is a co-wife (i.e. it is a
polyganous marriage)
-
That the husband does
not invoke evil upon her from Allah, swt, such as saying "may Allah make
your face ugly"
-
That she is never
striked in the face or ever hit in a way to cause physical
injury.
Remember... Allah, subhana watala,
sees everything we do!
