to Quran and Sunnah
Allah belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth.
He creates what He wills.
He bestows female (offspring) upon whom He
and bestows male
(offspring) upon whom He wills.
Noble Qur'an - Ash-Shura 42:49
Every child is born Muslim
Hadith - Bukhari
2.440, Narrated Ibn Shihab
Huraira, narrated that the Prophet said, "Every
child is born with a true faith (i.e. to worship none but Allah Alone)
but his parents convert him to Judaism or to Christianity or to
Magainism, as an animal delivers a perfect baby animal. Do you find it
mutilated?" Then Abu Huraira recited the holy verse: "So
set you (O Muhammad SAW) your face towards the religion of pure Islâmic
Monotheism Hanifa (worship none but Allâh Alone) Allâh's Fitrah (i.e.
Allâh's Islâmic Monotheism), with which He has created mankind. No
change let there be in Khalqillâh (i.e. the Religion of Allâh Islâmic
Monotheism), that is the straight religion, but most of men know not. [Tafsir
AtTabarî, Vol 21, Page 41] " (30.30).
Show Loving Kindness
Hadith - Bukhari (#86),
Muslim, Tirmidhi, and Nasa'i.
said, "I saw the Prophet of Allah with Hasan upon his shoulders.
The Prophet was saying, 'O Allah! I love him, so You love him too.'"
Hadith - Bukhari
(#91) and Muslim
Salmah related that Abu Hurayrah said, "The Prophet of Allah kissed Hasan ibn 'Ali while Aqra'
ibn Habis was sitting nearby. Aqra' said, 'I have ten
children and have never kissed one of them.' The Prophet looked at him and said, 'Those who show no mercy will be shown no
The Noble Qur'an -
We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents.
His mother bears him with hardship and she brings him forth
with hardship, and the bearing of him, and the weaning of him is thirty
(30) months, till when he attains full strength and reaches forty
years, he says: "My Lord! Grant me the power and
ability that I may be grateful for Your Favour which You have bestowed
upon me and upon my parents, and that I may do righteous good deeds,
such as please You, and make my off-spring good. Truly, I
have turned to You in repentance, and truly, I am one of the Muslims
(submitting to Your Will)."
Hadith - Dawud, Narrated
An-Nu'man ibn Bashir
equally between your children; Act equally between your sons.
Hadith - Dawud,
Narrated An-Nu'man ibn Bashir
I heard An-Nu'man bin Bashir on the
pulpit saying, "My father gave me a gift but 'Amra bint Rawaha (my
mother) said that she would not agree to it unless he made Allah's
Apostle as a witness to it. So, my father went to Allah's Apostle
and said, 'I have given a gift to
my son from 'Amra bint Rawaha, but she ordered me to make you as a
witness to it, O Allah's Apostle!' Allah's Apostle
you given (the like of it) to everyone of your sons?' He
replied in the negative. Allah's Apostle said, 'Be
afraid of Allah, and be just to your children.' My father
then returned and took back his gift."
Playing with Dogs
said, "Our associates used to permit
all sorts of play, except for play with dogs." Imam Bukhari
added: "He meant [the permission was] for children.
Hadith - Bukhari 4:523,
Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah
said, "When night falls (or it is
evening), keep your children close to you for the devils spread out at
that time. But when an hour of the night elapses, you can let them
free. Close the doors and mention the Name of Allah, for Shaytaan
(Satan) does not open a closed door."
The Testimony of Children
Hadith - Muwatta 36.9
said, "Malik said from Hisham ibn Urwa that Abdullah ibn az-Zubayr gave
judgment based on the testimony of children concerning the injuries
Malik said, "The generally agreed on way of
doing things in our community is that the testimony of children is
permitted concerning injuries between them. It is not accepted about
anything else. It is only permitted between them if they testify before
they leave the scene of the incident and have been deceived or
instructed. If they leave the scene, they have no testimony unless they
call just witnesses to witness their testimony before they leave."
Obedience and Respect Due to Muslim Parents
The Noble Qur'an -
And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful
and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship
upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks
to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.
if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me
others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but
behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who
turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your
return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.
- Sahih Bukhari Vol. 4, No. 41, Narrated 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud
I asked Allah's
Messenger (saaws), "O Allah's Messenger! What is the best deed?" He
replied, "To offer the prayers at
their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is next in
goodness?" He replied, "To be good
and dutiful to your parents." I further asked, "What is
next in goodness?" He replied, "To
participate in Jihad in Alah's Cause." I did not ask
Allah's Messenger (saaws) anymore and if I had asked him more, he would
have told me more.
The Noble Qur'an
- Al-Isra 17:23-24
And your Lord has decreed that you worship
none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents.
If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life,
say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address
them in terms of honour.
And lower unto them the wing of
submission and humility through mercy, and say: "My Lord!
Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was
Muslims must not pray for forgiveness for the Mushrikun.
Abusing a muslim is
not allowed. But "spankings" and appropriate discipline as
means of correction are Islamic.
- Bukhari (#883) and Abu Dawud
said, "Ibn 'Umar
used to beat his children
for mistakes in diction."
- Dawud, Narrated As-Saburah
recorded by Ahmand and al-Hakim. Al-Syuti has give in a notation
signifying that it is authentic. Al-Albani
has graded it hasan. Al-Albani, Sahih al-Jami, vol. 2, p. 1021.]
Prophet said: Order your children to pray at the age of
seven. And beat them [lightly] if they do not do so by the age of ten.
And separate them in their bedding.
Hadith - Bukhari
3:734, Narrated Abu Huraira
somebody fights (or beats somebody) then he should avoid the face."
It is permissible to
admonish a child that is not your own...
Hadith - Bukhari
7:177, Narrated Aisha
Abu Bakr admonished
me and poked me with his hands in the flank, and nothing stopped me
from moving at that time except the position of Allah's Apostle
whose head was on my thigh.
Children are a Test and Trial
Muslims are frequently tested by Allah
s.w.t. Your children are a test or trial for you, and your actions or
lack of actions will be judged by Allah swt alone. Do not
raise your child simply based on what your family or peers thinks you
should do. Do not fear the judgment of mankind, but of Allah, s.w.t.,
- Dawud, Narrated Buraydah ibn al-Hasib
The Apostle of Allah
delivered a speech to us; meanwhile al-Hasan and al-Husayn came upon
there stumbling, wearing red shirts. He came down from the pulpit, took
them and ascended it with them. He then said: Allah
truly said: "Your property and your children are only trial"
(Ixiv.15). I saw both of them, and I could not wait. Afterwards he
resumed the speech.
Hadith - Tirmidhi , a
hasan sahih tradition.
said, "The believing man or woman
continues to have affliction in person, property and children so that
they may finally meet Allah, free from sin."
Hadith - Dawud,
Narrated Muhammad ibn Khalid as-Sulami
grandfather, who was a Companion of the Apostle of Allah
said: I heard the Apostle of Allah
say: When Allah has previously
decreed for a servant a rank which he has not attained by his action,
He afflicts him in his body, or his property or his children.
The Noble Quran -
We have sent Our Messengers with clear proofs, and revealed with them
the Scripture and the Balance (justice) that mankind may keep up
justice. And We brought forth iron wherein is mighty power
(in matters of war), as well as many benefits for mankind, that Allah
may test who it is that will help Him (His Religion), and His
Messengers in the unseen. Verily, Allah is All-Strong,
Noble Quran - At-Taghabun 64:15
wealth and your children are only a trial, whereas Allah! With Him is a
great reward (Paradise).
Hadith - Tirmidhi,
Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab
taught him to say, "O Allah, make my
inner nature better than my outer, and make my outer nature good. O
Allah, I ask Thee to give me some of the abundance thou givest to men,
in family, property and children, which neither strays nor leads astray."
Hadith - Mishkat,
Narrated Mu'adh ibn Jabal
instructed me to do ten things saying:
associate anything with Allah even if you are killed and burnt on that
disobedient to your parents even if they command you to abandon your
family and your property.
not deliberately neglect to observe a prescribed prayer for he who
neglects the prescribed prayer deliberately will become out of the
protection of Allah.
drink wine for it is the height of every obscenity.
evil, for with evil there descends the wrath of Allah.
of running away from the battle-field even if the people perish.
And when the death overtakes the people (in
a plague or disaster) and you are one amongst them, show steadfastness.
Spend on your children according to your
Do not refrain from using pressure
(of punishment) with a view to training them.
in them the fear of Allah.
Permission to Enter
The Noble Qur'an - An-Nur
O you who believe! Let your legal
slaves and slave-girls, and those among you who have not come to the
age of puberty ask your permission (before they come to your presence)
on three occasions; before morning prayer, and while you put off your
clothes for the noonday (rest), and after the 'Isha (latenight) prayer.
(These) three times are of privacy for you, other than these
times there is no sin on you or on them to move about, --attending
(helping) you each other. Thus Allah makes clear the Ayat
(the Verses of this Qur'an, showing proofs for the legal aspects of
permission for visits, etc.) to you. And Allah is
And when the children among you
come to puberty, then let them (also) ask for permission, as those
senior to them (in age). Thus Allah makes clear His Ayat
(Commandments and legal obligations) for you. And Allah is
Acts of Charity
sometimes overstress themselves and become like servants to their
children. This is not to say that it is permissible to
neglect a child, but to address the matter of people who begin to
neglect their own self in an effort to help others. This
hadith may help to alleviate those who feel that their children's needs
are to be delivered at the expense of their own needs being fulfilled.
For instance, if you neglect your own health while caring for
your child, you may become extremely sick and then be unable to fulfill
your role of providing. This hadith also shows that we should
first spend our resources on providing for our family before giving
gifts to others.
- Dawud, Narrated Buraydah ibn al-Hasib
commanded to give sadaqah. A man said: Apostle of Allah, I have a
dinar. He said: Spend it on
yourself. He again said: I have another. He said: Spend it on your children. He
again said: I have another. He said: Spend
it on your wife. He again said: I have another. He said: Spend it on your servant. He
finally said: I have another. He replied: You
know best (what to do with it).
Balancing our Time
should make time for both the worldly affairs and studying the deen of
- Dawud, Narrated Buraydah ibn al-Hasib
I met AbuBakr. He
said: Who are you? He (Hanzalah) said: Hanzalah has turned out to be a
hypocrite. He (AbuBakr) said: Hallowed be Allah, what are you saying?
Thereupon he said: I say that when we are in the company of Allah's
ponder over Hell-Fire and Paradise as if we are seeing them before our
very eyes. When we are away from Allah's Apostle
we attend to our wives, our children, our business; most of these
things (pertaining to the After life) slip out of our minds. AbuBakr
said: By Allah, I also experience the same. So AbuBakr and I went to
and said to him: Allah's Apostle ,
Hanzalah has turned to be a hypocrite. Thereupon Allah's Apostle
said: What has happened to you?
I said: Allah's Apostle, when we are in your company, we are reminded
of Hell-Fire and Paradise as if we are seeing them with our own eyes,
but whenever we go away from you and attend to our wives, children and
business, many of these things go out of our minds. Thereupon Allah's
said: By Him in Whose Hand is my
life, if your state of mind remains the same as it is in my presence
and you are always busy in remembrance (of Allah), the angels will
shake hands with you in your beds and on your paths. However, Hanzalah,
time should be devoted (to the worldly affairs) and time (should be
devoted to prayer and meditation). He (the holy Prophet)
said this thrice.
Noble Qur'an - Al-Munafiqun 63:9
O you who
believe! Let not your properties or your children divert you from the
remembrance of Allah. And whosoever does that, they are the
- Sahih al-Bukhari 8.65, Narrated Al Aswad
what did the Prophet
use to do at home. She replied, "He
used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was time for
the prayer, he would get up for prayer."
Hadith - Sahih al-Bukhari
8.200, Narrated Abu Huraira
said, "Allah said, 'The offspring of
Adam abuse the Dahr (Time), and I am the Dahr; in My Hands are the
night and the day!' "
The Parent must consent to Jihad
Hadith - Dawud,
Narrated Abu Sa'id
A man from Yemen migrated to
Madinah to be with the Prophet . The
him, 'Do you have any relatives in
Yemen?' He answered, 'My parents.' 'Did you ask their permission?'
the Prophet asked. On his replying that he
did not, the Prophet told him, 'Go
back to them and ask their permission. If they agree to it,
go on jihad. Otherwise stay and serve
Love for the Prophet s.a.a.w.s.
We must love Allah, subhana
watala, far above all, with no comparison to the love we have for
Our love for the Prophet
must surpass our love for our own children or parents. Teach
the children to love Muhammad .
Also teach about shirk, so that they know the difference
between love and idol-worship (i.e. honoring, excessive praising, etc.).
Hadith - Bukhari
1:13, Narrated Abu Huraira
Him in Whose Hands my life is, none of you will have faith till he
loves me more than his father and his children."
Losing a Child
Hadith - al-Tayaalisi. [The story was also reported by
Imaam al-Bukhaari, Muslim, Ahmad. al-Albaani collected all its isnaads
in his book Ahkaam al-Janaa’iz, p. 20]
Narrated Anas (may Allah be pleased with him)
[Abu Talhah, r.a.] married her [Um Sulaym, r.a.], and she was a woman
with nice eyes, rather small. She was with him until she bore him a
son, who Abu Talhah loved very much. The child became very ill, and Abu
Talhah was very upset and distressed by the child’s sickness. Abu
Talhah used to get up to pray the morning prayer, he would go to the
Prophet and pray with
him, and would stay with him for almost half the day. Then [Abu Talhah]
would come to take a nap and eat, and when he had prayed Zuhr [mid-day
prayer] he would get ready and leave, and would not come back until the
time of the ‘Isha’ [night-time] prayer.
evening, Abu Talhah went out to see the Prophet
(according to another report: to go to the mosque), and the child died
(during his absence).
Um Sulaym said, “No one is to tell
Abu Talhah about his child’s death until I have told him.” She covered
the child up as if he were sleeping, and left him in a corner of the
house. Abu Talhah came back from visiting the Messenger of Allah ,
and brought some people from the mosque with him. He asked, “How is my
son?” She said, “O Abu Talhah, from the time he fell sick, he has never
been as calm as he is now, and I hope that he is resting.” (She spoke
vaguely so as not to upset him; this was not a lie. She was referring
to the calmness of death and the child finding relief from the pain of
his sickness, but her husband took it to mean that the child’s
condition had improved). She brought the meal and they all ate dinner,
then the people left.
Then he went to bed and lay down,
and she got up and put on perfume and adorned herself, making herself
more beautiful than she ever had before. (This was a sign of her
patience and great faith in the will and decree of Allaah. She was
seeking reward from Allah and concealing her feelings, hoping that she
would become pregnant that night to make up for the loss of her child).
Then she came and lay down in the bed with him, and when he smelt the
perfume, he did as men usually do with their wives (this is the
narrator’s polite and circumspect manner of referring to what happened
At the end of the night, she said, “O
Abu Talhah, do you think that if some people lent something to some
others, then they asked for it back, do they have the right not to give
it back?” He said, “No.” She said, “Allaah,
may He be glorified, lent your son to you, and now He has taken him
back, so seek reward with Him and have patience.” He became
angry and said, “You left me until I did what I did (i.e., had
intercourse), then you tell me that my son has died!” Then he said, “Innaa
Lillaahi wa innaa ilayhi raaji’oon (Truly, to Allaah we
belong and truly, to Him we shall return – the words uttered by Muslims
when faced with news of death or calamity) and he praised Allaah. In
the morning, he did ghusl (full ablution) then he went to the Messenger
of Allah and prayed with
him, and told him what had happened. The Messenger of Allaah (saaws)
said, “May Allaah bless you for last night.” She conceived a child
(thus the Prophet’s prayer for them was answered).
Um Sulaym used to travel with the Messenger of Allah ,
leaving Madeenah when he left, and returning when he returned. The
Messenger of Allah
said, “When she gives birth, bring the child to me.” He was on a
journey, and Um Sulaym was with him. When the Messenger of Allaah
(saaws) came back from travelling, he would never enter Madeenah at
night (so as not to disturb the people, and so that wives would have
time to get ready to greet their husbands). They reached the outskirts
of Madeenah, and her labour pains started. Abu Talhah stayed with her,
and the Messenger of Allah
went on. Abu Talhah said, “O Allah, you know that I like to set out
with your Messenger when he sets out, and come back with him when he
comes back. I have been detained as You see.” Um Sulaym said, “O Abu
Talhah, I do not feel the pains as much (this was one of her
“miracles”; her labour pains ceased because she had asked Allaah to
enable her to catch up with the Messenger of Allah ).
So they set off, and after they had reached Madeenah, her labour pains
started again, and she gave birth to a boy. She told her son Anas, “O
Anas, I will not give him anything to eat until you take him in the
morning to the Messenger of Allah ,”
and she sent some dates with him. (Because she wanted the first thing
to enter the child’s mouth to be food from the Prophet ;
this was a sign of her great faith, because the woman’s natural
instinct is to hasten to feed the baby as soon as he is born). The
child cried all night long, and I [Anas, the narrator of this story]
stayed up all night taking care of him. In the morning, I took him to
the Messenger of Allaah ,
who was wearing his burdah (a kind of cloak) and marking the camels and
sheep that had been given to him (the animals had been given in charity
and he was marking them so that they would not get lost or mixed with
other flocks or herds). When he saw him, he said to Anas, “Has the
daughter of Milhaan [i.e., Um Sulaym] given birth?” He said, “Yes.” He
said, “I will be with you in a minute.” He put down the tool in his
hand (with which he had been marking the animals) and took the child,
then he said, “Do you have something for him?” They said, “Yes, dates.”
The Prophet (saaws)
took some of the dates and chewed them, mixing them with his saliva
(and the saliva of the Prophet
was blessed by Allah). Then he opened the child’s mouth and gave him
some of the dates, wiping them inside his mouth (this is called Tahneek
and is one of the customs among Muslims when a baby is born).
The infant began to smack his lips, sucking some of the sweetness of
the dates and the saliva of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him). Thus the first thing that entered that child’s stomach
was mixed with the saliva of the Messenger of Allah .
He said, “See how much the Ansaar (the Muslims who were living in
Madeenah when the Prophet migrated there) love dates!” I [Anas] said,
“O Messenger of Allah, name him.” He wiped his face and named him
‘Abd-Allaah. There was no young man among the Ansaar who was better
than him, and when he grew up he had a lot of sons, and was martyred in
Persia (he died as a martyr when the Muslims conquered Persia; all of
this happened as a result of the Prophet’s blessed du’aa’).
Items for the uttaqun:
your daughters to wearing hijab as soon as possible, for instance, as
soon as they can walk. Prepare them for when hijab and niqab
will be worn regularly at puberty; do not dress them in kaffir clothes,
and then one day they hit puberty and must totally adapt to the modesty
clothing of a muslimah.
Remember that daughters
like to dress like their mother.
may use positive reinforcement to emphasize the blessings of wearing
hijab, expressing simple emotions that a child can understand, such as
feeling sorry for other girls (the children of disbelieving parents)
that don't get their own hijab to wear.
puberty, girls should be wearing complete hijab, i.e. niqab,
loose-fitting covering clothes at all times when going out of the house.
should wear hijab at age 7 to fulfill their obligation to salah.
dressing boys in clothes that resemble the kaffir. Kufi, thobes and
other clothes that reflect his muslim identity, are recommended.
Show affection to your
child, such as kissing on the cheek.
spend on your children within your means, i.e. what you can afford.
By age seven, boys and
girls raised by Muslims should learn how to and begin doing salat if
they don't already know.
Discipline a child who is
seven or older and intentionally neglects salat. Stronger
measures may be used at age 10, as it is your responsibility to ensure
obedience in your child.
Install the fear of Allah,
s.w.t., in your children. But first you must fear Allah,
s.w.t., in your heart and actions.
Remember... Allah, subhana
watala, sees everything we do!