To Allah belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the
He creates what He wills.
He bestows female (offspring) upon whom He wills,
and bestows male (offspring) upon whom He wills.
The Noble Qur'an - Ash-Shura
child is born Muslim
Hadith - Bukhari 2.440, Narrated Ibn
Abu Huraira, narrated that the Prophet
said, "Every child is
born with a true faith (i.e. to worship none but Allah Alone) but his parents
convert him to Judaism or to Christianity or to Magainism, as an animal delivers
a perfect baby animal. Do you find it mutilated?" Then Abu Huraira
recited the holy verse: "So set you (O Muhammad SAW) your face towards the
religion of pure Islâmic Monotheism Hanifa (worship none but Allâh
Alone) Allâh's Fitrah (i.e. Allâh's Islâmic Monotheism),
with which He has created mankind. No change let there be in
Khalqillâh (i.e. the Religion of Allâh Islâmic
Monotheism), that is the straight religion, but most of men know not.
[Tafsir AtTabarî, Vol 21, Page 41]
Hadith - Bukhari (#86), Muslim, Tirmidhi, and
Barra' said, "I saw the Prophet of Allah
with Hasan upon his shoulders. The Prophet
was saying, 'O Allah! I love
him, so You love him too.'"
Hadith - Bukhari (#91) and
related that Abu Hurayrah
said, "The Prophet of Allah
kissed Hasan ibn 'Ali while Aqra' ibn Habis was
sitting nearby. Aqra' said, 'I have ten children and have never kissed
one of them.' The Prophet
looked at him and said, 'Those
who show no mercy will be shown no mercy.'"
The Noble Qur'an - Al-Ahqaf
And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and
kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship and she brings
him forth with hardship, and the bearing of him, and the weaning of him is
thirty (30) months, till when he attains full strength and reaches forty
years, he says: "My Lord! Grant me the power and ability that
I may be grateful for Your Favour which You have bestowed upon me and upon
my parents, and that I may do righteous good deeds, such as please You, and
make my off-spring good. Truly, I have turned to You in repentance,
and truly, I am one of the Muslims (submitting to Your Will)."
Hadith - Dawud, Narrated An-Nu'man ibn
Act equally between your children; Act equally between
Hadith - Dawud, Narrated An-Nu'man ibn
I heard An-Nu'man bin Bashir on the pulpit saying,
"My father gave me a gift but 'Amra bint Rawaha (my mother) said that she
would not agree to it unless he made Allah's Apostle as a witness to it.
So, my father went to Allah's Apostle
and said, 'I have given
a gift to my son from 'Amra bint Rawaha, but she ordered me to make you as
a witness to it, O Allah's Apostle!' Allah's Apostle
'Have you given (the like of it) to everyone of your
sons?' He replied in the negative. Allah's Apostle said,
'Be afraid of Allah, and be just to your
children.' My father then returned and took back his gift."
Hadith - Bukhari (#1302)
said, "Our associates used to permit all sorts
of play, except for play with dogs." Imam Bukhari added: "He
meant [the permission was] for children.
Hadith - Bukhari 4:523, Narrated Jabir bin
said, "When night falls (or it
is evening), keep your children close to you for the devils spread out at
that time. But when an hour of the night elapses, you can let them free.
Close the doors and mention the Name of Allah, for Shaytaan (Satan) does
not open a closed door."
Testimony of Children
Hadith - Muwatta 36.9
Yahya said, "Malik said from Hisham ibn Urwa that
Abdullah ibn az-Zubayr gave judgment based on the testimony of children
concerning the injuries between them."
Malik said, "The generally agreed on way of doing
things in our community is that the testimony of children is permitted concerning
injuries between them. It is not accepted about anything else. It is only
permitted between them if they testify before they leave the scene of the
incident and have been deceived or instructed. If they leave the scene, they
have no testimony unless they call just witnesses to witness their testimony
before they leave."
and Respect Due to Muslim Parents
The Noble Qur'an - Luqmaan
And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good)
to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness
and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your
parents, unto Me is the final destination.
But if they (both) strive with you to make you join
in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey
them not, but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of
him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your
return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari Vol. 4, No. 41, Narrated
'Abdullah bin Mas'ud
I asked Allah's Messenger (saaws), "O Allah's Messenger!
What is the best deed?" He replied, "To offer the prayers
at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is next in goodness?"
He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your
parents." I further asked, "What is next in goodness?" He replied,
"To participate in Jihad in Alah's Cause." I
did not ask Allah's Messenger (saaws) anymore and if I had asked him more,
he would have told me more.
The Noble Qur'an - Al-Isra
And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but
Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them
or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of
disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.
And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility
through mercy, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they
did bring me up when I was young."
Note: Muslims must not pray for forgiveness for the
Abusing a muslim is not allowed. But "spankings" and appropriate
discipline as means of correction are Islamic.
Hadith - Bukhari (#883) and Abu
Nafi' said, "Ibn 'Umar
used to beat his children for mistakes in
Hadith - Dawud, Narrated
[Also recorded by Ahmand and al-Hakim. Al-Syuti
has give in a notation signifying that it is authentic.
Al-Albani has graded it hasan. Al-Albani, Sahih al-Jami, vol. 2, p.
said: Order your children to pray
at the age of seven. And beat them [lightly] if they do not do so by the
age of ten. And separate them in their bedding.
Hadith - Bukhari 3:734, Narrated Abu
"If somebody fights (or beats somebody) then he should
avoid the face."
It is permissible to admonish a child that is not your own...
Hadith - Bukhari 7:177, Narrated
admonished me and poked me with his hands in the flank,
and nothing stopped me from moving at that time except the position of Allah's
whose head was on my thigh.
are a Test and Trial
Muslims are frequently tested by Allah s.w.t. Your children are
a test or trial for you, and your actions or lack of actions will be judged
by Allah swt alone. Do not raise your child simply based on what your
family or peers thinks you should do. Do not fear the judgment of mankind,
but of Allah, s.w.t., alone.
Hadith - Dawud, Narrated Buraydah ibn
The Apostle of Allah
delivered a speech
to us; meanwhile al-Hasan and al-Husayn came upon there stumbling, wearing
red shirts. He came down from the pulpit, took them and ascended it with
them. He then said: Allah truly said: "Your property
and your children are only trial" (Ixiv.15). I saw both of them, and
I could not wait. Afterwards he resumed the speech.
Hadith - Tirmidhi , a hasan sahih
"The believing man or woman continues to have affliction
in person, property and children so that they may finally meet Allah, free
Hadith - Dawud, Narrated Muhammad ibn Khalid
As-Sulami's grandfather, who was a Companion
of the Apostle of Allah
said: I heard the
Apostle of Allah
When Allah has previously decreed for a servant a rank
which he has not attained by his action, He afflicts him in his body, or
his property or his children.
The Noble Quran - Al-Hadid
Indeed We have sent Our Messengers with clear
proofs, and revealed with them the Scripture and the Balance (justice) that
mankind may keep up justice. And We brought forth iron wherein is mighty
power (in matters of war), as well as many benefits for mankind, that Allah
may test who it is that will help Him (His Religion), and His Messengers
in the unseen. Verily, Allah is All-Strong, All-Mighty.
The Noble Quran - At-Taghabun
Your wealth and your children are only a trial,
whereas Allah! With Him is a great reward (Paradise).
Hadith - Tirmidhi, Narrated Umar ibn
taught him to say, "O Allah, make
my inner nature better than my outer, and make my outer nature good. O Allah,
I ask Thee to give me some of the abundance thou givest to men, in family,
property and children, which neither strays nor leads astray."
Hadith - Mishkat, Narrated Mu'adh ibn
instructed me to do ten things saying:
Do not associate anything with Allah even if you are
killed and burnt on that account.
Don't be disobedient to your parents even if they
command you to abandon your family and your property.
Do not deliberately neglect to observe a prescribed
prayer for he who neglects the prescribed prayer deliberately will become
out of the protection of Allah.
Do not drink wine for it is the height of every
Shun evil, for with evil there descends the wrath
Beware of running away from the battle-field even
if the people perish.
And when the death overtakes the people (in a plague
or disaster) and you are one amongst them, show steadfastness.
Spend on your children according to your means.
Do not refrain from using pressure (of punishment)
with a view to training them.
Inculcate in them the fear of Allah.
The Noble Qur'an - An-Nur
O you who believe! Let your legal slaves and slave-girls,
and those among you who have not come to the age of puberty ask your permission
(before they come to your presence) on three occasions; before morning prayer,
and while you put off your clothes for the noonday (rest), and after the
'Isha (latenight) prayer. (These) three times are of privacy for you,
other than these times there is no sin on you or on them to move about,
--attending (helping) you each other. Thus Allah makes clear the Ayat
(the Verses of this Qur'an, showing proofs for the legal aspects of permission
for visits, etc.) to you. And Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise.
And when the children among you come to puberty, then
let them (also) ask for permission, as those senior to them (in age). Thus
Allah makes clear His Ayat (Commandments and legal obligations) for you.
And Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise.
Parents sometimes overstress themselves and become like servants to their
children. This is not to say that it is permissible to neglect a child,
but to address the matter of people who begin to neglect their own self in
an effort to help others. This hadith may help to alleviate those who
feel that their children's needs are to be delivered at the expense of their
own needs being fulfilled. For instance, if you neglect your own health
while caring for your child, you may become extremely sick and then be unable
to fulfill your role of providing. This hadith also shows that we should
first spend our resources on providing for our family before giving gifts
Hadith - Dawud, Narrated Buraydah ibn
commanded to give sadaqah. A man said: Apostle of Allah,
I have a dinar. He said: Spend it on yourself.
He again said: I have another. He said: Spend it on
your children. He again said: I have another. He said:
Spend it on your wife. He again said: I have
another. He said: Spend it on your servant.
He finally said: I have another. He replied: You know
best (what to do with it).
Parents should make time for both the worldly affairs and studying the
deen of Al-Islam.
Hadith - Dawud, Narrated Buraydah ibn
I met AbuBakr. He said: Who are you? He (Hanzalah)
said: Hanzalah has turned out to be a hypocrite. He (AbuBakr) said: Hallowed
be Allah, what are you saying? Thereupon he said: I say that when we are
in the company of Allah's Messenger
we ponder over Hell-Fire
and Paradise as if we are seeing them before our very eyes. When we are away
from Allah's Apostle
we attend to our
wives, our children, our business; most of these things (pertaining to the
After life) slip out of our minds. AbuBakr said: By Allah, I also experience
the same. So AbuBakr and I went to Allah's Apostle
and said to him:
, Hanzalah has turned
to be a hypocrite. Thereupon Allah's Apostle
What has happened to you? I said: Allah's Apostle,
when we are in your company, we are reminded of Hell-Fire and Paradise as
if we are seeing them with our own eyes, but whenever we go away from you
and attend to our wives, children and business, many of these things go out
of our minds. Thereupon Allah's Apostle
By Him in Whose Hand is my life, if your state of mind
remains the same as it is in my presence and you are always busy in remembrance
(of Allah), the angels will shake hands with you in your beds and on your
paths. However, Hanzalah, time should be devoted (to the worldly affairs)
and time (should be devoted to prayer and meditation). He (the holy
Prophet) said this thrice.
The Noble Qur'an - Al-Munafiqun
O you who believe! Let not your properties or your
children divert you from the remembrance of Allah. And whosoever does
that, they are the losers.
Hadith - Sahih al-Bukhari 8.65, Narrated Al
I asked 'Aisha
what did the Prophet
use to do at home. She
replied, "He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was
time for the prayer, he would get up for prayer."
Hadith - Sahih al-Bukhari 8.200, Narrated Abu
said, "Allah said, 'The offspring
of Adam abuse the Dahr (Time), and I am the Dahr; in My Hands are the night
and the day!' "
Parent must consent to Jihad
Hadith - Dawud, Narrated Abu Sa'id
A man from Yemen migrated to Madinah to be with the
. The Prophet
asked him, 'Do you have any
relatives in Yemen?' He answered, 'My parents.'
'Did you ask their permission?' the Prophet
asked. On his replying
that he did not, the Prophet
'Go back to them and ask their permission. If
they agree to it, go on jihad. Otherwise stay and serve
for the Prophet s.a.a.w.s.
We must love Allah, subhana watala, far above all,
with no comparison to the love we have for people.
Our love for the Prophet
must surpass our love for our own children or parents. Teach the children
to love Muhammad
Also teach about shirk, so that they know the difference between love
and idol-worship (i.e. honoring, excessive praising, etc.).
Hadith - Bukhari 1:13, Narrated Abu
"By Him in Whose Hands my life is, none of you will
have faith till he loves me more than his father and his
Hadith - al-Tayaalisi.
[The story was also reported by Imaam
al-Bukhaari, Muslim, Ahmad. al-Albaani collected all its isnaads in his book
Ahkaam al-Janaaiz, p. 20] Narrated Anas (may Allah be
pleased with him)
So he [Abu Talhah, r.a.] married her [Um Sulaym, r.a.],
and she was a woman with nice eyes, rather small. She was with him until
she bore him a son, who Abu Talhah loved very much. The child became very
ill, and Abu Talhah was very upset and distressed by the childs sickness.
Abu Talhah used to get up to pray the morning prayer, he would go to the
and pray with him, and would stay with him for almost
half the day. Then [Abu Talhah] would come to take a nap and eat, and when
he had prayed Zuhr [mid-day prayer] he would get ready and leave, and would
not come back until the time of the Isha [night-time]
One evening, Abu Talhah went out to see the Prophet
(according to another report: to go to the mosque), and
the child died (during his absence).
Um Sulaym said, No one is to tell Abu Talhah
about his childs death until I have told him. She covered the
child up as if he were sleeping, and left him in a corner of the house. Abu
Talhah came back from visiting the Messenger of Allah
, and brought some people from the mosque with him. He
asked, How is my son? She said, O Abu Talhah, from the
time he fell sick, he has never been as calm as he is now, and I hope that
he is resting. (She spoke vaguely so as not to upset him; this was
not a lie. She was referring to the calmness of death and the child finding
relief from the pain of his sickness, but her husband took it to mean that
the childs condition had improved). She brought the meal and they all
ate dinner, then the people left.
Then he went to bed and lay down, and she got up
and put on perfume and adorned herself, making herself more beautiful than
she ever had before. (This was a sign of her patience and great faith in
the will and decree of Allaah. She was seeking reward from Allah and concealing
her feelings, hoping that she would become pregnant that night to make up
for the loss of her child). Then she came and lay down in the bed with him,
and when he smelt the perfume, he did as men usually do with their wives
(this is the narrators polite and circumspect manner of referring to
what happened between them).
At the end of the night, she said, O Abu
Talhah, do you think that if some people lent something to some others, then
they asked for it back, do they have the right not to give it back?
He said, No. She said, Allaah, may He be glorified,
lent your son to you, and now He has taken him back, so seek reward with
Him and have patience. He became angry and said, You left
me until I did what I did (i.e., had intercourse), then you tell me that
my son has died! Then he said, Innaa Lillaahi wa innaa ilayhi
raajioon (Truly, to Allaah we belong and truly, to Him we shall
return the words uttered by Muslims when faced with news of death
or calamity) and he praised Allaah. In the morning, he did ghusl (full ablution)
then he went to the Messenger of Allah
and prayed with him, and told him what had happened.
The Messenger of Allaah (saaws) said, May Allaah bless you for last
night. She conceived a child (thus the Prophets prayer for them
Um Sulaym used to travel with the Messenger
, leaving Madeenah
when he left, and returning when he returned. The Messenger of Allah
she gives birth, bring the child to me. He was on a journey, and Um
Sulaym was with him. When the Messenger of Allaah (saaws) came back from
travelling, he would never enter Madeenah at night (so as not to disturb
the people, and so that wives would have time to get ready to greet their
husbands). They reached the outskirts of Madeenah, and her labour pains started.
Abu Talhah stayed with her, and the Messenger of Allah
went on. Abu Talhah
said, O Allah, you know that I like to set out with your Messenger
when he sets out, and come back with him when he comes back. I have been
detained as You see. Um Sulaym said, O Abu Talhah, I do not feel
the pains as much (this was one of her miracles; her labour pains
ceased because she had asked Allaah to enable her to catch up with the Messenger
So they set off, and after they had reached
Madeenah, her labour pains started again, and she gave birth to a boy. She
told her son Anas, O Anas, I will not give him anything to eat until
you take him in the morning to the Messenger of Allah
, and she sent
some dates with him. (Because she wanted the first thing to enter the
childs mouth to be food from the Prophet
; this was a sign
of her great faith, because the womans natural instinct is to hasten
to feed the baby as soon as he is born). The child cried all night long,
and I [Anas, the narrator of this story] stayed up all night taking care
of him. In the morning, I took him to the Messenger of Allaah
, who was wearing
his burdah (a kind of cloak) and marking the camels and sheep that had been
given to him (the animals had been given in charity and he was marking them
so that they would not get lost or mixed with other flocks or herds). When
he saw him, he said to Anas, Has the daughter of Milhaan [i.e., Um
Sulaym] given birth? He said, Yes. He said, I will
be with you in a minute. He put down the tool in his hand (with which
he had been marking the animals) and took the child, then he said, Do
you have something for him? They said, Yes, dates.
The Prophet (saaws) took some of the dates
and chewed them, mixing them with his saliva (and the saliva of the Prophet
was blessed by
Allah). Then he opened the childs mouth and gave him some of the dates,
wiping them inside his mouth (this is called Tahneek and is one of the customs
among Muslims when a baby is born). The infant began to smack his lips,
sucking some of the sweetness of the dates and the saliva of the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Thus the first thing that entered
that childs stomach was mixed with the saliva of the Messenger of Allah
. He said, See
how much the Ansaar (the Muslims who were living in Madeenah when the Prophet
migrated there) love dates! I [Anas] said, O Messenger of Allah,
name him. He wiped his face and named him Abd-Allaah. There was
no young man among the Ansaar who was better than him, and when he grew up
he had a lot of sons, and was martyred in Persia (he died as a martyr when
the Muslims conquered Persia; all of this happened as a result of the
Prophets blessed duaa).
Items for the
Introduce your daughters
to wearing hijab as soon as possible, for instance, as soon as they can walk.
Prepare them for when hijab and niqab will be worn regularly at puberty;
do not dress them in kaffir clothes, and then one day they hit puberty and
must totally adapt to the modesty clothing of a muslimah.
Remember that daughters
like to dress like their mother.
You may use positive
reinforcement to emphasize the blessings of wearing hijab, expressing simple
emotions that a child can understand, such as feeling sorry for other girls
(the children of disbelieving parents) that don't get their own hijab to
By puberty, girls
should be wearing complete hijab, i.e. niqab, loose-fitting covering clothes
at all times when going out of the house.
Muslimahs should wear
hijab at age 7 to fulfill their obligation to salah.
Avoid dressing boys
in clothes that resemble the kaffir. Kufi, thobes and other clothes that
reflect his muslim identity, are recommended.
Show affection to
your child, such as kissing on the cheek.
Only spend on your
children within your means, i.e. what you can afford.
By age seven, boys
and girls raised by Muslims should learn how to and begin doing salat if
they don't already know.
Discipline a child
who is seven or older and intentionally neglects salat. Stronger measures
may be used at age 10, as it is your responsibility to ensure obedience in
Install the fear of
Allah, s.w.t., in your children. But first you must fear Allah, s.w.t.,
in your heart and actions.
Remember... Allah, subhana watala,
sees everything we do!
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