Assalaamu 'alaikum
Hi. My husband is looking for a second wife and has asked me to assist in the process. He wants his wives to be friends and believes that from the very begining we should get along. I guess that is why I am begining the search!
Let me first explain that he doesn't plan to marry for about another year,possibly a year and a half. We are in the process of moving and he needs to find another job etc.
He is a caring man who is striving in the path of Allah (swt). He is a wonderful provider ( a definite hard worker). His manner is even tempered and relaxed. He has his MA in Law. My husband was raised in France and speaks fluent French along with English and Arabic.
If you want to hear more please write

As-SalamuAlikum I read your email,sentto meby a friend.. I am interestedin newing more?

Why on earth are you doing this? I've known sisters like you in the past but have never understood this psychology.

Signed, your sister

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullhi wa barakatuhu
Dear sister Masha'allah I think that helping your husband in look for your co-wife is a beauitful thing. And not many women can handle that. So as long as Allah(swt)has bless you in that way then insha'allah you will continue to do it for the sake of Allah(swt). Don't worry about what is said, because for the peace that you are going for, will be much greater in reward that any human can ever give you credit for Ameen P.s keep the search going and assit the ummah with with the best kind of Da'wah (by example) Insha'allah May Allah (swt) continue to guide us on the stright path Allah humma Ameen

asalamu alaikum,
Why does your husband even want another wife?
Do you have children?
I know that this is halal, but please think about
this and pray to Allah for guidance.
I was once like you, looking for a wife for my
husband. He SAID it was for children, but we had
very good insurance that covered IVF and he
refused to try that first, well if your only
concern is for children, why dont you try???
And then I was looking for a sister for him, I
found 3 sisters for him all practcing the deen one
was a widow, very poor, and she had memorized the
entire Quran Masha'Allah. But no one was good
enough. LAter on I found out that he refused all
these sisters because he already knew who he
wanted to marry, a woman that he had a phone
"relationship" with for over a year.
He married her, lying to me all the way, and of
course she wasn't a practising muslim, and the
first thing she said to my husband is "divorce the
first wife"
She told me things about me and my husband that
never should have been discussed with her, things
that never should have left the bedroom.
To make a long story short, after 2 years of that
Hell my husband put me through, I am now divorcing
him (legally) and waiting for him or an alim to
give me Talaq.
To all that know him my husband is a good and
pious Muslim, no one can believe the things he has
done.
Please sister be careful,protect yourself

Alsalam Alikum,

your add on muslim-canada.org

I am a very good muslim 32 years old, Syrian living in UAE , tall 187 cm , handsome , well stabled and highly educated.
looking for another wife since my wife can't have children and she doesn't mind me getting married,
and i do think it's not good for a muslim to divorce his wife because she can't have children .
i know that this is a womens corner but i thing that i might find some of yours interested in my add , if so kindly reply.
email:[email protected]

Asalam Alaikum Sister
I was sad to hear your account and am posting this to let you know that we deal with many many similar cases and that youre not alone .... Our organisation can help you in many ways to establish emotional stability and re-marry with good faith and confidence ... to a Allah-fearing and accountable muslim ... this is by way of Spiritual Meditation ... Please (if you feel comfortable enough) forward here your email address so that we may give you advice via email only in order to secure your confidentiality and security
Wasalam
Humah

Assalamo aleikum !
We belive what u are doing for your husband is good thing , its hard in this donya but good for akhira inshallah. And dont forget that Allah LOVES
the patients (SABERIN) ones for his sake.
we are cowifes since one year ago.
your sisters in islam um suleyman and um yones.

Assallamualaikom Wbt,

I am posting this ad on behaft of my husband. He is a good Muslim of 43 years old. We are seeking a sincere & good Muslimah for the sake of Allah SWT and the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet (Muhammad SAW). We prefer a religious widowed/divorced (age 25-41, under 5' 3") and Arabic language background (UK based). We strongly believe that, all the Sunnah are good and there are lots of "the hidden hikmah" behind it (Polygamy) i.e. teaching & helping each other, etc. for the sake of Allah SWT. If interested, please reply to [email protected], ASAP. May Allah SWT bless us. Ameen.

Salaamu alaikum wa Rahmatullah

Sisters what happened to Class?
Some of these posts are just darn
tacky. Let dude find his own wife.
I bet you he can do it.

This doesn't constitute piety that
you find of even assist your husband
in getting another wife.
Flip the script for just a moment.
Would you even consider him to help
find you a husband? No, because this
doesn't jell with the intellect.

Are these men not men enough?
What a humiliating role he's exhibiting
to have his wife find him a wife.
He's not tight with the brothers?
what's the dealio for real?
Sisters, don't fall for this. I guess
next you'll be paying all the bills..
Laailahaill'ALLAH

Assallamualaikum Wbt, Sister Queen,

Thanks for your messages. However, please understand that "the more we sacrifice for the sake of Allah SWT and the Sunnah, the more rewards
we gain". This is just a simple TEST from Allah SWT for us (women) i.e. just sharing only instead of sacrifying of life.

Well, I'd like to be sure that my husband will
find the right sister as highlighted by our beloved Prophet Muhammad(PBUH). Otherwise, he'd
choose the beautiful & young sisters of his own desired. Furthermore, if I were divorced, please find me a pious husband.

Sister, sometime, Allah SWT prefers the Halal deeds than the HARAM i.e. the beautiful sunnah of
the polygamy. Polygamy is one of the best ways to reduce/save the social problems. Unless we can fight the HARAM deeds such as prostitution, lesbian, gay, etc. in the first place, then, we can talk (fight) about the polygamy. Thus, please
flip the script for just a minute... We should
save our sisters from becomimg prostitutes, committing zinah, ec. rather than fighting against
the HALAL deeds.

MAy Allah SWT shows his mercy and guidance upon
us. Ameen. JazakAllah.

Assallamualaikum, Sister Queen,

Thanks for your message. Please understand that " the more we sacrifice for the sake of Allah SWT and the Sunnah the more rewards we gain".

Well, I'd like to be sure that my husband will find a good sister as guided by our beloved Prophet Muhammad SAW. Otherwise, he'd choose the beautiful & young sister of his own desired. Furthermore, if I were divorced, please find me a pious husband.

Sister, sometime, Allah SWT prefers the thing that we DO NOT like i.e. the beautiful Sunnah of the polygamy. Unless, we can fight against the HARAM deeds e.g. prostitution, lesbian, gay, etc. in the first place, then, we can talk (fight) about the polygamy. Thus, please flip the script just a minute... We should save our sisters from becoming prostitutes, committing zinah, etc. rather than fighthing against the HALAL deeds.

May Allah SWT shows his mercy and guidance upon us. Ameen.

Assallamualikum Wbt, Sister Queen,

Thanks for your message. However, "the more we sacrifice for the sake of Allah SWT and the sunnah, the more rewards we gain".

Well, I'd like to be sure that my husband will find a good sister as guided by our beloved Prophet Muhammad SAW. Otherwise, he'd choose the young & beautiful sister of his own desired. Furthermore, If I were divorced, please find me a pious & good husband.

Sister, sometime, Allah SWT prefers the thing that we DO NOT like i.e. the beautiful sunnah of polygamy and vice versa. Unless, we can fight against the HARAM deeds e.g. prostitution, lesbian, gay, etc. in the first place, then, we can talk about polygamy. Thus, please flip over the script just a minute. We should save our sisters from becoming prostitutes, committing zinah, etc. rather than fighting against the HALAL
deeds.

MAy Allah SWT shows his mercy and guidance upon us. Ameen.

Assallamualaikum,

Thank you sister. I would like to make sure that my husband will find a good sister to be his co-wife as guided by Islam. Furthermore, you could find me a good/pious husband only if I were to be divorced, etc.

Moreover, Allah SWT prefers the Halal than the Haram deeds (Sometime, Allah SWT prefers the thing that we do not like i.e. the polygamy). If we can fight against the bad deeds e.g. prostituion, lesbian, gay,etc., in the first place, then, we can talk about polygamy instead. Thus, please save our sisters from becoming prostitutes, committing zinah, etc. rather than
fighting against the Halal deeds.


May Allah SWT guide and bless us always. Ameen.

Assallamualaikum,

Thank you sister. I'd like to make sure that my husband will find a good sister as guided by Islam
for our future family.

Furthermore, Allah SWT prefers the Halal than the Haram deeds. If we can fight against the Haram deeds e.g. prostitution, zinah, etc. in the first place, then, we can talk about polygamy. Thus, please save our sisters from becoming prostitutes,committing zinah, etc. rather than fighting against the Halal deeds.

May Allah SWT guide and bless us always.Ameen.

alhamdulillah

salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

Sisters I am not one to downplay the Sunnah.
Are your men deen as such that you feel there is
a possibility that he would go out and seek
a young beautiful mushrik?
I am trying to see this on both ends, and what I
get is sisters should support and encourage good
for the Ummah, it's just how we do things.
Me myself would never parade around saying "I am
looking for my husband another wife"! But I may
suggest or even encourage a sister to consider
marrying my husband and this perhaps as a last
resort because the things I may not like
about my husband I wouldn't want him to place upon
her. Hey- I lived polygamy fine and well and the
sister and I right today is cooler than cool,and
once in polygamy the differances don't matter
between the women.I have been through the arena
and redirected my focus(to let the man seek out
his own wife UNLESS there's a sweet, modest
sister(not loud or mouthy whom the men of the
community is overlooking,or too shy to ask about,
or intimidated by her deen(her goodness))and my
perhaps being already acquanted with her (I would
first-feel her in to the issue, not my husband.
Idon't know and it seems we learn SOMETHING knew everyday. I have been known not to roll like most.
So sisters' your style is your style.

SUBHANALAHI WA BIHAMDHI

As-Salaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh.

I don't think that most sisters who are looking for co-wives are trying to show off how "pious" they are for doing so.

I'm looking for my husband, and the main reason for saying so is basically in trying to find her! We've been looking for 7 years (or more) now, and unfortunately, it's not easy. Either sisters are saying, "no, it's not for me" or "what's wrong with your relationship" (the answer is nothing) or "he must have brainwashed you into doing this".

Like the other sisters said, I want to help him in finding the right woman, because I want to know her and know that I can get along with her, too. In fact, sometimes I think she and I will spend more time together more than the two of them will. Besides, my husband doesn't have his mother or sister or other family member who would normally do the job, so I'm quite happy to help.

It would be good to remember, too, that although many sisters say Muslimahs should not go out looking for second-wives (trouble, in their view), one of the Prophet's wives, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, did just that for her blood-sister, until he informed her that it was not permissible for a Muslim man to have wives who were sisters.

May Allaah guide us to the best of behaviors.

AAMEEN

salaamu alaikum,

You sisters can come up with whatever gets you by;
like I said and will stand on,it's a bit tacky-
and 'yall been looking for seven years?!'
That to is ridiculous.
Am I the sour one of this board? I never mind bei-
ng the white hair on the black ox.
So you sisters go on with your bad selves,and I
apologize for any offenses. And to the one sister,
you didn't know your husband couldn't be married
to your blood sister with you at the same time?
But you know the Authentic Sunnah?
Some of this turns hilarious had you ladies since-
rely look at what you are saying. Hey,
you believe it to be a good thing to find your
husband another wife so alhamdulillah may ALLAH
Pardon me for arguing to you sisters, I hope yall
the best and may ALLAH correct and bless us in
Goodness for our stay in this life and our akhira
for HE is The Most Kind aameen

O' you said one of the Prophet's wives sought to
wed her blood sister to her own husband until she
was given guidance on the issue, o.k scratch some
of that I said earlier. So you sisters don't have
a problem with brothers bringing to your husbands'
the influence of seeking another wife?

selamunaleykum.............

Asalaamu alaikum wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatu.

To sister Mariam Sabr: Asalaamu alaikum sister. I tried to contact you personally at your email address, but it came back undeliverable. Please write to me at my email, insha Allah, as I would like to talk to you. JazakAllah.

Aaminah
[email protected]

as-salaam walikum sister mariam sabr I can relate to what you are saying I have also been looking for quite sometime and its so many sister who need go husband alhamduillah most of them are already married. Sisters you must first accept what Allah swt and his meesenger has deceed. Than none of our husbands belong to us its only by allah swt mercies we are married to such good brothers. Alhamduliiah "You want for you muslims brother and sister what you want for yourself" who waants to be single? Let the angels records your goods deeds and willingness to help your husband afterall he has fulfil your rights I know inshallah my husband can be fair and just thats who he is suban allah he's my friend and garment he would treat his second wife with respect and dignity, all substance comes from Allah swt his children would be hafiz in quran, public school is not a option inshallah. He fear Allah swt no he knows the responsiblty in plural marraige and still wants to do it no matter how many children a sister would have my husband knows sisters need to be cared for, looked after and loved suban allah so I know my husband would make any muslimah a good husband, inshallah . as-salaam walaikom wa rahmatuhahi wa baraktuh.

Fatimaa

Salaam sister,
Wow that is amazing how some your helping your husband looking for another wife because most men don't ask there wife premission. But you are right both women should be friends like going for coffee going shopping together help look after each children wife. I am a single girl and I used to be catholic i converted to islam but I perfer islam than catholicism.

Salaam sister,
Wow that is amazing how some your helping your husband looking for another wife because most men don't ask there wife premission. But you are right both women should be friends like going for coffee going shopping together help look after each children wife. I am a single girl and I used to be catholic i converted to islam but I perfer islam than catholicism.

SALAAM SISTAS! WA GO ON! YA LOOK FA HUBBY ON DA NET YA SAD GITS! GO TO BED YA RAAS CLAATS! TELL HUBBY TO FIND HIS OWN GAL!

salaam sisters

I have to give you all credit and courage letting your husbands marry another lady. If that is your will and Allah's that is fine.

It would break my heart if my husband wanted anoter wife we have worked so hard to have a happy loving Relationship. I would not grant it I have gave him a son and another soon.


He has told me I am enough and I thank Allah for that, because my heart would break. I love my family and the thought of him with another wife no I am all the woman he needs. I know many sister's who feel this way

To the sister who's husband's married a non Muslim

Allah see's and hears all.

You be true to the one and only Lord

You are a good person :)
I feel your pain.

I am sending you a warm embrace from my arms sister

Assalaamu Alaikum Sisters,


I too am looking for a co wife for my husband... the only thing I find difficult is that there are sisters who launch an all out attack on sisters who are helping their husbands look. It seems to me that folks get all steamed up and bothered and say how sad we are etc., and the mention of fearing Allah and repressing you hawaa is out the window. That being said... my husband is a fantastic man, a great husband and, wonderful Salafi brother. If I must share him,I prefer to share him with a good sister who will fit well into our family and maintain an amicable relationship with EVERYONE in the family. For more details reply including your email address and I will get back to you insh'Allah.

assalaamu alaykum,

well said sister, if you want to look then fine alhamdulillaah it's a good reason and I can understand both sides of the argument. but just as a personal point too many salafee brothers are getting second wifes and it's just to follow fashion, not only that but these brothers don't even have a job. if the argument is that the second wife will provide for herself then we know from daleel this is o.k but i dont see how brothers can be comfortable with signing on the dole year after year and their not disabled. subhaanallaah, we need to encourage our noble brothers to seek the honour of looking after his responsibilites. correcting ones aqeedah and manhaj is the most important but so is safe guarding our eemaan and shaykh muqbil(h) said that the kufaar dole system is just there to weaken the eemaan. you can see how it makes people lazy and dependant on hand outs.

i'm not saying this is the case with your zawj but it sure is a big probelm in many communities.

I pray that you find a pious sister and one that you and all your family can get on with and i also pray that she is not cause of fitnah for you all.
Aameen

your sister in eemaan
was salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullaah

Bismillahir Rahman ar-Raheem
Asalaamu Aleikum

I recently married in polygany to a wonderful brother, Alhamdulillah. His first wife is taking this all so hard, Subhan Allah. Her and I were close dear friends before and I want so much to rebuild our relation especially for the children and our husband. The Shaiton is succeeding with her since she is accursing my husband and I and acting as if our marriage is haram. I need some advice as to how I can help her be strong and also re-establish the friendship, Insha Allah.

Fee Amanillah
Your sister in Islam

Asalam Aleikum

For those of you who dislike polygany issues in your own life, please refrain from imposing your views which are unislamic onto other sisters, Insha Allah.

Only Allah knows your future and certainly you wouldn't like having to eat something you deliberately left out to spoil.

WA ALAIKUMU SALAAM WARAHMATULLAHI WABARAKATUHU

Polygyny is Always a touchy subject and what constitutes an 'unislamic view?' Having the wife's permission perhaps..?

That in itself is just a misnumber, poor understa-
nding of The Deen of ALLAAH. May ALLAAH guide HIS Sincere servants for this is easy for HIM, aameen.

I too believe the women in polygyny should share similar personalities friendly,modest, soft spoken
and kind, well disciplined in her use of argumentations, etc. Blessed in her hostessness
(representing herself and family well in gatherings at her home) not just throwing a gathering to have something to prove. The women,
the two, the three or the four should acquint themselves with one another, form a bond beyound all bonds because guess what?!! There may come a time Insha'ALLAAH when hubby may choose to move his families all together across the worlds, so yes may ALLAAH help our muslim men, strengthen them in goodness, enable them to take care of the women in the manner that Pleases HIS Majesty ALLAAH! aameen.

For the sister who said the brothers' who claim salafi not taking care of their women and just seeking polygyny for a fashion (aouthdu billahi)
the brothers I know of of the dawatus salafiyyah seem to be sincere brothers, young and learning by trial and error. People must be allowed their mistakes without condemption and Sisters continue to be strong.

And may we get some posts from the successful polygyny seekers, did things turn out as you hoped
?

Assalaamu'alaikum wrt
I applaude to my sisters in islam for their strength and courage in looking for a second wife for their husband ....and also for those who are now practicing polygamy... no matter how easy some said... but I know deep down inside.. the sisters are just like us ( any other women )... which is .. there will be times when its sad to see their husband sharing another woman's bed... but insya'Allah... those who do good will be repaid as should..

I am never againts polygamy... for I can't say no to what Allah S.A.W. have said is allowed... but neither am I looking for one.. but if it has to happen in my life in the future ( which I wish it won't ).. I do wish the women whom share my husband would be a wonderful lady who can make my husband happy...

Assalaamu'alaikum wrt
I applaude to my sisters in islam for their strength and courage in looking for a second wife for their husband ....and also for those who are now practicing polygamy... no matter how easy some said... but I know deep down inside.. the sisters are just like us ( any other women )... which is .. there will be times when its sad to see their husband sharing another woman's bed... but insya'Allah... those who do good will be repaid as should..

I am never againts polygamy... for I can't say no to what Allah S.W.T. have said is allowed... but neither am I looking for one.. but if it has to happen in my life in the future ( which I wish it won't ).. I do wish the women whom share my husband would be a wonderful lady who can make my husband happy...

masha Allah-wa la hawla wa la quwwata ila billah-i'm not really sure I want to share this w/ you sisters, but here goes: to make a long story short, i was married into polygyny (2x). First time, first wife was not having it, although she had married into polygyny and he divorced the first to keep everybody (but himself)happy. This time he divorced me. still, he married another. so, what was the point? i married singly and it did not work out. my (still) good friend asked me to marry her husband. I turned her down a few times. time heals all wounds, and wounds all heels! Was not time. Then I we were so close I felt it would be different. I marreid him finally, AL Hamdulillah! Turns out, she told me things about their relations, no one else should know. She has ADHD and that has always been the excuse for her actions even now. Well, they had 10 years and 4 children so I thought the marriage wa solid, otherwise, I may not have married him until things worked out. Well, I did, and they did not. To make a long story short, he divorced her and now she's bitter, yet married again. She has the kids and he's paying child support. LOTS! We remain civil, but it took a lot of doing on my part, wa la hawla wa la quwwata ila billah. I still miss her as a co-wife, but after I lost my first baby, she gave me nothing but grief until they divorced.
a salaamu alaikum!

i am new on this message board, and well, until a month or two ago, i really thought that brother's had to have solid reasons to marry again, for example, his wife being infertile etc


now these mails exhibit something totally different. i was searching the net for this issue when i came across an accreditted islamic site that actually advised all men to marry more than once. one question that i would *really* like to have answered is: there are not enough "good" brothers out there any more, how can you trust that he is doing it for the right reasona?


you women are very brave, very brave. to do something so against a women's own nature, sharing your spouse, your love, your family with another makes you truly great.


i agree that if we can save a poor widow or he children from starving, if we can prevent a muslimah from prostitution or any other horrendous act, then it is worth it.


Allah knows best. He put this is the Quran for a reason, and our knowledge or reasoning is nothing compared to His.


wasalaam

Assalamu Alaykum Sisters
I have to be truly honest here when I say that some of the replies given here are totally disgusting. We are one Ummah and therefore should be enjoining the good and forbidding the evil, this here is doing the complete opposite. Some of your attitudes have clearly come from Jahiliya and you need to sort this out. This sister should be given encouragemnet and credit for what she is doing, she has obviously thought into this deeply and carefully and her and her husband know what is best. What some of you say is going against the Sunnah and more drastically going against what Allah has ssaid in the Quran, Allah (swt) has ordered the men to marry 2,3,4 and only if he cannot be just between them does he marry only 1. Fear Allah all of those who gave such negative feedback, you will answer for your comments on the Day of Judgement.
All this is is words of advice, be careful what you say.
I wish you all the best in your hunt for your husbands new wife, inshallah you will all be happy together.
Your sister
Safiyyah

As Salaamu Alaikum
Interesting. I helped my husband to find a second wife because I am barren. He found her, very fertile, Masha Allah, but still in iddah from her first husband, and, it turned out, remarkably ignorant of the deen. (ie, still in iddah but looking, foul mouthed, disclosing secrets of the bedroom after they eventually married). I took it hard, I admit it, because I wound up being demoted to being a girlfriend. But that marriage ended (I got a khul for non support and cruelty), Alhamdulilah, she was how he was given the family that he wanted before he died. Not a good experience... but I would go into another polygynous marriage, and would prefer it. Why? Because I am in fact barren, and I do want for my brother what I want for myself. We don't read of an Umm ul mumineen who didn't have at least a bit of jealousy, but we do read where they respected each other, mostly, and they were given justice. So under those circumstances, of respect and justice, there could be a lot of good, Allahu Alim. We will be truly happy in the akhira, Insha Allah, it is by the tests in this life that we demonstrate patience with the Decree of Allah. As long as the man has taqwa, and the women are kind and patient with each other when they have to deal with each other, Insha Allah, it will work to be in polygyny. A lack in any of the foregoing will make for misery. So I would accept a sister recruiting me for her husband, I wouldn't enter where there was dissatisfaction because that isn't kind to my sister. And I hope to marry into settled and happy family. Hint hint hint!