As Salaamu Alaikum Sisters

I am seeking nasihah concerning this: My husband is a very good husband, partner and friend, Masha Allah. The problem that I am having is this: My husband comes to me alot with his problems, concerns, and stresses seeking advice (Masha Allah as we know the Prophet (SAW) sometimes would seek advice from his wives) and I try to give him the best advice from Qu'ran and Sunnah even when it is against myself. I am always there for him 100% and I know my reward is with Allah.

Being human I can not help but to feel hurt because when I am stressed, upset or have anxiety about occurrences that involve my marriage or other issues he is not very comforting. He often tells me he is dealing with stress from his other wife (who he just married, Masha Allah), his job, society, his companions, his this and his that and he does not have time to deal with me and my concerns. It is just to much for him.

Please understand that my husband does not know how to deal with me when he sees me hurting or crying and this is his excuse not to deal with me. None the less I always turn to Allah for help but for now it is difficult to deal with when my husband is dealing with everybody and their mother's stresses and problems but he won't deal with me. He expects me to be strong like an ox and be his foundation that is never weak but I AM A WOMAN AND I AM SOMETIMES WEAK AND NEED TO BE COMFORTED!!!!!

Please give me nasihah because I have a beautiful relationship with my husband Masha Allah. This is just one area he does not handle very well and the only resolution I have come to is to deal with my problems on my own, not to share anything with him, to avoid any further arguments or fitnah.

Jazak Allahu Khairun.
Wa Salaamu Alaikum

Wa'alaikumsalam.
Masha'Allah sister, you and your husband seem to have a strong relationship,and it says a lot that he seeks your advice in matters. Not many women have that sis, so please don't listen to the evil whisperings of shaitaan.
However sis, and you already seem to know this, his coming to you with problems with his other wife is downright selfish in my view. Time spent with you should involve his listening to you as well. Maybe you can write him a letter telling him your feelings, or arrange a special time to tell him them yourself, without tears and accusations. Let him know exactly how it makes you feel to hear him and his problems and mention to him the same way he likes you to listen and advise you too would like,need ,
the same from him. Insha'Allah if he is a reasonable guy, he will begin to understand.
Sorry for the late reply, I have only now ever visited this site.Should you have the need to talk privately, please email me at [email protected]. May Allah bless your marriage and ease your worries.