AS'SALAMU ALAIKUM MY HUSBAND WANTS A SECOND WIFE. I EVEN THINK HE HAS A SISTER IN MIND.THIS HURTS ME SO MUCH THAT I FEAR IT WILL PUSH ME OFF MY DEEN,OR BE MY KEY TO THE HELLFIRE, ALLAAHUALAM.WE CAME TO ISLAM TOGETHER,BUTI FEEL LIKE POLOGAMY IS GOING TO BREAK US UP.HE TELLS ME I HAVE TO PREPARE MYSELF FOR THIS SITUATION,BUT I GET DEPRESSED EVERY TIME I TRY. SISTERS PLEASE TELL ME HOW ICAN DEAL WITH THIS ACCORDING TO THE QURAN,AND SUNNAH WITH OUT PUTTING MY DEEN ON LINE.WHEN ANSERING PLEASE FOR MY SAKE AND YOURS PLEASE REMEMBER TO FEAR ALLAAH WHEN ANSWERING!!!!!! JAZAKHULAAHKAR

Assalaamu Alaikum.........

I am writing requesting sincere help. Don't waste your time responding to me if you believe polygamy or any other Sunnah of Rasulullah saw is "outdated", or if you are going into that whole Muslim man bashing scene.............save it. I'm not the sister you need to be talking to. That being said, I could really use some sincere naseehah from those who can come correct. I LOVE my husband... no I don't think you get it... I LOVE HIM... mashAllah our relationship has done well in the past and is going okay for now alhamdulillah. I have always known that my husband prefers and desires to have a second wife. My problem is I have been going through an emotional roller coaster while he considers this one and that one.... alhamdulillah he wants to make the best choice for all of us..... but there are certains things involved in the search that have seriously incited my jealous side. Lately I feel that some of the ruder comments I've gotten about my cooking, or weight, appearance etc. have been because no matter how much I try... I am not HER... Whoever the HER of the moment may be. MashAllah don't get me wrong... Allah has granted me a wonderful husband, and I go the long haul to be a good wife....... and I am by no means a tack head, or a slacker in the kitchen. I just feel that no matter how good I am he is comparing me to someone else......... that wouldn't be sooo bad if there weren't soooo many someone elses out there. Some of these women are like wolves... astaghfirullah .... the tactics would scare ya!!!!LOL... any way I usually can keep a could grip on the emotions but lately it has been more than difficult.............. my emaan is at a low and I am fighting depression. I feel that I am letting this bug me way too much.... I mean there are other things to be concerned with.... come Yauma Qiyamma I won't be thinking of him, her , you or anyone else......... but I can't seem to get my focus on and get over it. I'm slipping and I am just looking for kind words... more or less telling me what I already know.......... but coming from a fellow believer sometimes is what I need. Please remember family in your duas.


Holding on to Hot Coals